Alone Together

Our scripture this morning comes from Psalm 25. Hear now the word of the Lord:

"To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul. O my God, in you I trust. Do not let me be put to shame; do not let my enemies exult over me. Do not let those who wait for you be put to shame; let them be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous. Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you, I wait all day long. Be mindful of your mercy, O Lord, and of your steadfast love, for they have been from of old. Do not remember the sins of my youth or my transgressions; according to your steadfast love, remember me for your goodness' sake, O Lord. Good and upright is the Lord; therefore, he instructs sinners in the way. He leads the humble in what is right and teaches the humble his way. All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness for those who keep his covenant and his decrees. For your name's sake, O Lord, pardon my guilt, for it is great. Who are they that fear the Lord? He will teach them the way that they should choose. They will abide in prosperity, and their children shall possess the land. The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear him, and he makes his covenant known to them. My eyes are ever toward the Lord, for he will pluck my feet out of the net. Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Relieve the troubles of my heart and bring me out of my distress. Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins. Consider how many are my foes, and with what violent hatred they hate me. O guard my life and deliver me; do not let me be put to shame, for I take refuge in you. May integrity and uprightness preserve me, for I wait for you. Redeem Israel, O God, out of all its troubles."

So, like I was saying in the children's sermon, it's summer, and kids are home from school. Many of you either have school-aged kids or know what it's like because you had kids that age at some point. If today is anything like when I was in school, my brother, sister, and I would probably make it about two days before starting with the "I'm bored" refrain every few hours: "There's nothing to do. I want to be entertained," etc., etc. Does this sound familiar?

As I was writing the sermon, I thought, maybe it's not as familiar because kids today aren't as bored. They have iPads, cell phones, and electronics to keep them occupied. This isn't the time before TV. I'm not sure, so parents, I welcome your experiences afterward. But the thing is, I think these kids might still be bored; they just don't know it. Having constant entertainment makes them feel like they aren't really bored, but is that true?

A couple of months ago, I went on a study leave where I read several books about how we are more connected than ever thanks to the digital age, yet we are lonelier and more isolated than ever. I saw a quote that talked about "artificial intimacy," which got me thinking about what our faith says about this idea. Are we engaging with each other the way God intended?

First, a disclaimer: I don't think electronics and social media are evil. Advances can be used for a lot of good. But like anything, they can be abused to the point where they no longer serve us well. With social media, it's easy to be tricked into thinking that more is better. It's easy to feel that binge-watching the latest show, and I'm guilty of this, or spending hours doom-scrolling, is truly fulfilling. But the Bible tells us differently.

God's message about fulfillment comes from relationships. Throughout the Bible, God shows us that relationships are the key to a prosperous life. Sometimes the digital age can lead to deeper relationships if used intentionally, but many times it does not. We are in a time when people are more connected than ever, yet, as I said, they feel more isolated. There are tons of statistics about this.

In our online connections, we hear more and more about the hard things going on in our lives, communities, countries, and around the world. We hear of war, violence, discrimination, and illness, and it causes us to feel hopeless. Many times we use these resources to inform us of the news, which isn't bad, but we forget how to use these resources or platforms once we've read the news. We forget that this is when we most need to be connected, to feel like we are part of something, to feel we have the power or ability to change things. We use these platforms to spread information but not to help us process it as a whole.

Before this digital age, we lived in a kind of ignorance. We didn't know all the details. You knew the hard parts of the lives of the people you talked to regularly and some of the big headlines, but you didn't know all the hard parts of the whole world. With being so connected, we are so aware of all the suffering in our world in a relatively new way. We want to be chaplains, not just doctors; we want to comfort and support when we hear bad news, not just break the bad news and move on.

Two major things are happening in our culture in the past couple of decades that are leading to this isolation. First, we digest more news than at any other time in history and are more aware of every bad thing happening in the world. Second, we are bored. Now, you might be thinking, "Trust me, I am not bored," but give me the rest of this sermon and let me see if you still think that.

The news of the world that we digest seeps into us so much because it is an overload of information. It's overwhelming and, to some, crippling. But it also seeps into us because we are bored. I don't mean bored in that you have spare time or that you don't have a laundry list the length of a CVS receipt. I mean bored in that you can't remember the last time you weren't on autopilot. Bored in that you can't remember the last time you really slowed down and didn't have a long list of things to do and said, "What will I do today? I have nothing to do today."

I think the same is true for kids on summer vacation. That is if they don't have weekly camps lined up. Maybe they are entertained, but are they really stimulated by these things? Are we all interacting with the world in a way that goes beyond autopilot?

Heather Holleman introduces a lost practice she believes contributes to isolation: the practice of finding awe. One of the books I read, "The Six Conversation Pathways to Connecting in an Age of Isolation and Anxiety," describes awe as a positive emotion elicited when in the presence of vast things not immediately understood. It reduces self-focus, promotes social connectedness, and fosters pro-social actions by encouraging a small self. Basically, it causes you to think outside yourself, gives an outlet to bond with others, and allows us to put things into perspective. Awe also staves off boredom, keeps you creative, happy, and connected to ideas and people. It helps us feel interconnected.

Awe has powerful effects on social relationships. Feelings of awe help us put our problems into perspective and prioritize the needs of the collective above our own by shifting attention away from the self and onto the outside world. Awe diminishes feelings of self-importance and makes people feel smaller, more connected to a larger community and purpose.

I think in order to practice finding awe, we first have to let ourselves be bored, to slow down. Just because we are busier than we imagine doesn't mean we're not bored in our minds. Because I have a child, my algorithms on social media know that and give me many articles about children. One of the ones I've been getting a lot is about why children actually should be bored. Studies show that boredom fosters creativity, self-esteem, and original thinking. Dr. Lee advises that the key is to help kids learn how to manage their boredom so that they can develop independence and feel agency over their own happiness and well-being. It's not the boredom itself that helps children acquire these skills; it's what they do with the boredom.

I believe children are taught how to find awe, and somewhere along the way, we lose it. Right now, Sophie is awed by every airplane she sees in the sky. She's obsessed with finding the moon when it's daytime, and right now, she's currently also awed by squirrels. But social media and other media sources make us think that we aren't bored because we are entertained. But being entertained is not the same thing as being connected and passionate about something. We may have countless things to watch and time to spend on social media, and yet we are still bored. But unlike other kinds of boredom, we are not triggered to find a need or a desire to be creative or to find passion. This kind of boredom is deceptive. We are bored but don't feel bored and don't get the positive effects of being bored, so it's confusing.

So, what does all of this have to do with our psalmist today? In Psalm 25, it talks about trusting God and that God will make the psalmist prosperous and deliver him from his enemies. In much the same way, I think we need to trust God that if we follow the values God has set before us instead of the ones the world promises will fulfill us, we too will have prosperous lives. I don't think TV or social media or anything in this digital age is evil, but I do believe in everything in moderation. The world tries to sell us this message that more is better and more consumption will make you happier. But I think we have lost the practice of finding awe because we haven't had to, or we've been made to think we haven't had to.

I'm not big on talking about the devil because I don't think we actually have enough information or understanding to know what we are talking about. But 2 Corinthians says something interesting. It talks about how the devil makes himself look like an angel. This idea that something can look very much like the real thing yet actually be very harmful or dangerous. I think the danger in our society is believing we are fulfilled or knowing what actually fulfills us when really we are barking up the wrong tree. Many sources in this world will do anything they can to get us to believe this.

So, I ask you, are you actually fulfilled, or does it just look like fulfillment? I think real fulfillment includes the practice of finding awe in your life, and that will lead to the connections we all deeply long for. Awe helps you find people who have things in common with you, whether that be the people who are in awe of the same sport you are, or the same music and instruments you are, or in awe of the same places you've traveled. Finding awe helps you be in a relationship with yourself and others as well as God because God created whatever it is you are in awe of.

So, I encourage you, just like I did with the kids, to find some time this summer to become bored. Seriously, clear some of your schedule, no matter how difficult you think it may be, to become bored. And when you've achieved that boredom, go practice finding some awe, something that makes you excited and curious, something that gives you energy—maybe a feeling you haven't had since you studied in college, started your first job, or had a baby. There is awe everywhere; you just need to find what that looks like for you. I believe that if we can reawaken this practice, if we can make space to be bored and allow our natural instincts to kick in, we can get back to making relationships the backbone of our lives. In our current state of overwhelming information, we need each other more than ever.

Amen.