As a pastor, I often scan the headlines for news about our community. "First known TikTok mob attack led by middle schoolers tormenting teachers" was not a headline I had hoped to see.

A Christian pastor like me might be expected to condemn not only the middle schoolers who created these accounts, but the technology even that allows it to exist. After all, the Christian church has a well-documented history resisting change. But this isn’t a case for clear cut condemnation – it’s complex. 

And who wants to deal with complexity? Complexity is the whole problem. (Warning, rant ahead.) Things aren’t like they used to be, before everyone carried a computer in their pocket, before we were always connected to each other, before (we thought) we knew everyone’s opinion on everything. Now, "Kids These Days" face an increasingly complex maelstrom of social media and connected culture, and in the Great Valley School District they do that in one of the world’s wealthiest areas. 

But this kind of complexity is all they’ve ever known; it's the water they swim in. And, if we’re being honest, complexity is the water we’re all swimming in, whether we like it or not. 

The problem of middle schoolers creating multiple TikTok accounts to impersonate, make fun of, and make accusations against their teachers is part of that complexity. There’s a lot of blame and fault to share. The kids are to blame, the parents are to blame, the schools are to blame, social media influencers are to blame – but so too, we can blame the sports teams, and the scout troops, as well as the synagogues, temples, mosques, churches, and other religious institutions. Everyone’s wrong, everyone’s responsible, and also – no one is wrong or responsible. Not fully. But just as everyone shares in the wrongdoing, everyone shares in the capacity for making things better. 

Complex problems can’t be easily solved, but together we can seek solutions in loving community. That means being curious about the problems and the solutions, that means listening to other people – adults and kids – to understand where they’re coming from, that means being willing to fight for the solutions we think are right and being willing to compromise to get things done as a community. In short, we can become more empathetic. 

Empathy isn’t a solution, but it’s a straightforward pathway towards a better community. Empathy creates an expanding web of healthy relationships that engenders healthy community. And crucially, promoting empathy isn’t a plan imposed by a hierarchy onto victims or perpetrators – it’s a choice that every participant in a community needs to make. 

I might be a Christian pastor, but I learned early on in my career that being a pastor never makes me the best Christian in the room – and certainly not the best person. But being a pastor has made me more aware of the good examples set by others. I think of the person who was devastated to learn that they wouldn’t be able to lift things and drive a vehicle like they used to. They were devastated because it meant they wouldn’t be able to deliver free food to people. Just being in their presence teaches me to be more empathetic. 

Examples like that teach that the only way to truly promote empathy is to practice it yourself, and watch the changes ripple out like waves from a stone dropped in a pond. 

I don’t think empathy can be legislated or forced, only shared and taught. So, in response to this terrible set of events happening in my own backyard, I will stay curious. I’ll try to be more empathetic, try to understand, and try to find my own way to be part of the solution instead of part of the problem.